Emotions are
here to help

Cultivating self-esteem sometimes requires us to change how we perceive our reality, and ourselves. Even when we make mistakes and have flaws, we can still hold ourselves in high regard and choose to care for ourselves. The relationship we have with ourselves is the only one we will always have, so we may as well make it a good one. After all, we can't ghost, fire, or divorce ourselves.

From the time we are born we are deeply connected to others. We are dependent on others for care, to form opinions of ourselves and to learn to navigate the world. Our relationships are one of our most valuable resources. Strong relationships help us to feel connected and safe and make us more likely to achieve our goals.

Helping others understand our inner world and how we feel is an art. When we manage to do it well, we feel heard, understood and accepted. Learning how to decode our inner experience and communicate it to others is the golden key to fulfilling relationships.

Some situations are so frightening they trigger our survival instincts - fight, flight or freeze - and life does not look or feel the same anymore. Neuroscience tells us that traumatic experiences, whether sudden or the product of repeated exposure, can actually impact the way our brain works and how we see the world. The good news is, we can restore our sense of safety and move on from being victims of adversity to survivors. Stronger and wiser.

Some new or unexpected life experiences are so impactful that they affect our ability to deal with them in familiar ways. Our minds seek predictability and certainty as part of our survival. Change is good and necessary however it can also create high levels of anxiety and stress. Learning to accept change and see it through a lens of openness, curiosity and flexibility can bring about welcome and positive transformation.

Sometimes we end up relying on behaviors that turn excessive and even self-destructive, until one day we realise we have wandered far from the life path we were pursuing. The voice of the inner critic kicks in and if on that detour, something important has been lost, we feel lots of regret and disappointment. The good news is that we always have our values to call to the rescue. It is like being lost in the jungle and finding a compass to get back on track.

Grief is an unavoidable experience in life. If we are alive and if something has ever mattered to us, we will experience grief at some point. That is the deal and it is not negotiable. Grief is the natural reaction we have to losing something that matters to us. That’s why it hurts - and sometimes a lot. Giving ourselves the opportunity to grieve can make a big difference to the process. Grief has powerful potential. It invites us to reflect and reassess what we are pursuing and what really matters to us. When grieving gets given the space it deserves it can be transformative.

Emotions are a crucial part of our lives. They are like the thermometer that responds to our daily life experiences. How we manage emotions in response to those experiences is key to our wellbeing. Emotions influence our perception, our behaviours and our mood. When we recognise the relevance they have in our lives, emotions can be used as a powerful resource to access vitality, connect with life and move in the direction we desire.

For some people crossing the milestone of parenting is a planned marvellous journey, for others it’s an unbearable challenge. Sometimes it is a very vulnerable time, and at other times a discovery of our strength and wisdom. Whichever description we identify with the most, postnatal months and parenting requires significant adjustments. We need to open room for the new member of the family and sometimes we are not so keen on that. Teachings from Psychology, Anthropology, art and play therapy can really help us turn the uncertainty that comes with parenting, into a very special adventure and a time of discovery.

Our very well developed capacity to anticipate and plan for the future is what has allowed us to build vast cities, make it to appointments, meet deadlines, pursue our goals and achieve them. Our capacity for future oriented thoughts is sometimes used to anticipate negative, undesirable and even catastrophic outcomes (aka worry). Anxiety is often triggered by a lack of control or uncertainty in our lives. Sometimes even making us feel like we are under threat. Fight or flight. It can manifest in the mind and in the body. Learning to soothe our mind and body can also help calm our nervous system. Helping us recognise our ability to anticipate as a constructive tool.

Sadness and disappointment are expected responses to dealing with a bad day or trying times. While depression is an ongoing emotional state that does not seem to match our circumstances. Activities or experiences that normally bring a sense of joy bring no satisfaction. We struggle to muster motivation and our perception of the world can become increasingly negative. This may lead to an internal battle - Why aren’t I happy? What’s wrong with me? - sometimes to the point of damaging the relationship with ourselves. Depression is our inner self trying to tell us something important. Approaching depression with curiosity, rather than fighting it, allows us to understand what it is that we are not ok with, so we can make changes. From this place of curiosity we can create strategies to increase our chances of releasing “happy hormones” and reconnect with the vitality we like to feel.

From a very young age, culture frames the way we interpret reality. It teaches us how to communicate, interact, and connect with others. Some experts argue that it even impacts the way we feel. Culture helps define our beliefs, expectations, and influences what we accept and reject. When we encounter different cultures our standard behaviours, rituals, expectations, and forms of communication may no longer be the norm and that can make us scared or angry. While this may feel confusing, we can turn the challenge of cross-culturality into a rich life-experience that opens our world to different realities.